"The Attila The Honey Comedy Hour" seven mornings weekly at 10AM Central. We are just like eating peanuts... you just can't get enough! We'll put a smile on your face.
Is Tila Tequila the new mayor of Titty City? Humm methinks this mini mouse queen of porn just might be. Every now and then, I feel the need to write a blog on this subject because, like it or not, 60% of viewers going to various sites are looking for porn. I could say to them, “Listen big kahunas aren’t all they’re cracked up to be…they put a burden on the back and thoseoutlandish boulder holders will one day become no more than ping pong paddles…then the decision will be – Should I wear a bra or use duck tape? ” www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1570728,00.html
Oh well, as the world evolves and history plays out it’s endless spin – man (as in men and women) seem to find pleasure in an act that has serious redundant overtones when abused. I think it’s the daydreams and imaginings that Ms. Tequila has tapped into. (I could be wrong but I don’t think so) Tila is a very savvy mini marketing mouse and most definitely I, Attila the Honey, am nominating Ms. Tila Tequila as the new mayor of Titty City…no law and no order! So please Tila – take care of that arm you hurt during your book signing. You’re good for at least 10 more blogs.
So all of you out there in cyberspace – find something to put a smile on your face…something to make your heart (I said heart not hooters!) bounce a little. Yep! I think Tila Tequila is the new Mayor of Titty City might just do the trick – but only if you’re in that 60%. LOL!
Attila the Honey
Zen Sarcasms:Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield
YES Damit! We can be happy in a stressful world. I really love this video of Grammy winning American singer/songwriter/poet Fiona Apple singing “Across The Universe” because it verifies what I believe – that when everything is falling apart, we can find that positive place within, keep our balance and stay happy …no matter the circumstances. Fiona Apple is a great example of this because out of a horribly dysfunctional childhood…came this great performer/poet/songwriter.www.last.fm/music/Fiona+Apple.
I know that we can turn negatives into positives because my life, up to a certain point, was a daily train wreck until ( ok now get ready to say, “O Man! you’ve got to be kidding!“) Yep, it was one of those days when I put my hand in my pocket to pull out a penny and instead pulled out a dog turd (metaphorically speaking)… Yep ole Attila jus trippin down the street blaming the world for my woes when I looked over and saw a little girl who’d set up a lemonade stand…complete with paper cups and a pitcher of fresh squeezed lemonade (which I didn’t have 50 cents to buy-something else for me to bitch about) She’d made a little sign that said, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” So you say – “How can I be happy in a stressful world? What’s that stupid story got to do with me? I mean GET A GRIP WOMAN, you’re beginning to sound like a Dr. Phil knock off! ( oh give me a break!) Look at the economy which is shot to hell, look at the evening news showing nations popping each other off over nothing, etc. Lemonade – what bullshit!”
OK, if you want to stay on that negative note – go ahead (but you’re really dumb if you do). Look at the perks that come out of having little. For one thing, it gives time for introspection, to stop and smell the roses, for families to go on picnics instead of to Chuckyee Cheezes, to perhaps take a job that pays less with less stress. I’ve discovered that there are three things in life that are definitely going to happen. I was born, I’ll pay taxes and I’ll croak one day – so why all the worry? Oh – and whatever I have, be it a lot or a little, I can’t take it with me when I pop off! There are no poorer groups of people than most of the super wealthy – because their lives are focused on retaining their wealth & power…and making damn sure no one rips them off…and guess what – a rich person can’t take it with him unless he’s found a way of burying it, willing it to himself, reincarnating and finding it .
Frankly, life is too short to be negative about anything. This is my philosophy in a nutshell – “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” I don’t look to the government, politicians, or groups for happiness – it’s just me and my Friend… and that little thing called making your effort. So go out there and find something that makes your heart bounce a little – something that puts a smile on your face. If I can do it – so can you. It’s not about money…it’s about attitude. So once again for anyone that’s down in the dumps and thinking “Can I be happy in a stressful world?” YES! YES! YES!…Damit, at least give it a shot!
Monty Python bicycle repair man made me laugh out loud! Really, you’ve got to click on and watch this. What amazes me is that his material is so funny and yet he is able to entertain us without it being XX rated. The great comics could do this…they made us laugh and forget all the ills of the world and afterward, we went about our work with a smile on our face. I think I’ll do more Monty blogs. I’ve been looking for some birthday sound cards with Monty Pythonesque crazy stuff.
Remember the funny SNL skit with Eddie Murphy playing the cartoon character of Gumby. He’d say, “I’m Gumby dammit!” Well find something that puts a smile on your face dammit! Life’s too short to go around with a long face – just kick the crap out of whatever bothers you – face it head on and then watch Monty Python bicycle repair man video. That’ll do the trick! Also there are certain blogs that make me giggle because they’re just nonsense. One of them is perezhilton.com/
Attila’s favorite motto: Your attitude is your altitude. How high are you?
Angelina Jolie is a knife hurling demented lunatic. She developed this knife thrill from the “Tomb Raider” movies. Call me crazy but Angie: “is this really a good thing for all the children of the world you’ve adopted to witness? No doubt as they grow older, instead of playing with dolls or video games – they’ just might start trying to out each other with knives.” Recently, she gave her six year old son a knife. hummmmmmmmm not too smart! Time to call Dr. Phil….or better yet – pit Angelina against Kate Perry who is a 7th black belt Kung Fu San Soo. I’d feel totally comfortable with Kate strolling in the worst neighborhood in an alley dressed in some tight & tacky Paris Hilton outfit that screams out “LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW OR I’LL THROWA TANTRUM!!!!! “ Yep! That’s the answer – set that match up on TV and name it: “Kate vs Angelina – Who Gets Killed First!” If this twisted subject interests you, check out, www.hecklerspray.com/angelina-jolie-is-a-knife-hurling-maniac-apparently/200817741.php.
I remember my grandpa showing me how to carve little dolls out of a piece of wood. Then he’d give me the doll and carefully put his old pocket knife back in his torn denim overalls. I miss my grandpa and those wonderful days in Oklahoma when life was so simple.
Well, find something that puts a smile on your face: Angeliana Jolie is a knife hurling demented lunatic should do it
See you tomorrow – please leave me a comment – it helps to hear what you think. Best Attila
The “The Front Fell Off” is one of the funniest videos I’ve ever watched – and no one can pull off interviews of this nature like the British. Clarke and Dawes are famous for their spoofs on politicians – who can talk for hours and say nothing – at least that we can understand. This interview is about a disastrous oil spill that just took place!
Today I took several kids, that belong to friends of mine (Thank God) who are out of town, to the zoo. As I watched the animals in between nearly freaking out over one of them trying to climb into the lions den – I thought the only difference between man and animals is that we have the power of discrimination and they don’t. They eat, drink, sleep, procreate – but they don’t have the power to understand right from wrong. Well, thank God this day is over and I didn’t have to call 911! (for me – not the kids!)
See ya tomorrow – find something to put a BIG SMILE on your face I think “The Front Fell Off” should do the trick.
Favorite motto: Your attitude is your altitude – how high are you! Best! Attila
