Attila The Honey

Would big government make a good housewife? There are unspoken understandings that women have with each other where certain male remarks are concerned. For instance, if there is a party and some man says, “Hey, I love kids so much, I would easily stay home and do what my wife does – I mean there is nothing to it!” At that moment, every woman in the room who is a mother just looks at each other and thinks, “Is he insane? He’d last one day doing my job! But I’d sure in hell love to see him try and do what he thinks is nothing!”

I went to my doctor for a check up and, although he’s 60 years old, has three children by his previous marriage, has remarried, has a 2 year old with the second young wife – and another in the oven – he made that same remark to me. This is a high profile doctor and one of the best in his field. But at 60 – this guy is telling me that he’d be happy giving up his practice and just be a “stay at home dad!.I said, “ Right! Sure you would – but don’t forget the daily laundry and ironing, changing of diapers, housework, driving the older kids back and forth to school, dance class, Little League, the library, a girlfriends house, grocery shopping, picking up the cleaning and cooking for your family – because now,  it is the woman who is the bread winner. Don’t for that… She’ll come home from work – grumpy, tired and totally unappreciative of your day. The minute she walks in the door, she’ll start talking ad nauseum about “her” hard day at the office with people you never heard of. And he won’t notice that you’ve just waxed the floors, dinner is in the oven and you are totally looking good for him.  At this juncture, the smart stay-at-home spouse usually says, “Honey I know you’ve had a hard day at work – so just go relax for a minute and dinner will be served before you know it!”

You are saying all this while stirring the stew with one hand and holding the new baby, who needs the diaper changed, with the other – while wondering if you forgot to use a deodorant after working up a sweat over a hot stove!

Of course, this doctor would probably have a live in nanny, 2 maids, a cook and his role essentially would be just to hang out with the kids. Wealthy people aren’t realistic examples because they have 5 people doing the job that most moms do alone – but I thought his dream like perspective rather amusing. He would probably get so bored, he’d start yearning for one small childhood illness that he could treat from home! Most men rarely offer to help clean up after dinner – they tell the kids to do this if they’re old enough. Rather, they belch and say “Thanks honey – good chow!” and head for the television to turn on the show they like -  i.e. cage fighting, the fights, old re runs of Steven Segal and God help us all during football season! Then when it’s time for bed, men wonder why we say, “Not tonight honey, I have a headache!” No truer saying was ever made than “A woman’s work is never done”. Even when mom has fallen asleep, little Suzie comes in and thumps her (not him) on the shoulder and tells mommy she can’t sleep because she just had a dream that a bear ate her. She says, “Mommy can I get in bed with you just for tonight?” By this time, mom is so damn tired, she’d probably say yes to Hitler. So little Suzie crawls in bed between them – her little legs wrapped around mom’s legs and falls asleep. Mom’s eyelids once again close – and open rather suddenly 15 minutes later when she feels something wet running down her leg. Oh yes, little Suzie has a bed wetting problem that hasn’t quite gone away yet. Mom has to get up and also wake up Dad who says, “What’s the matter with you? Don’t you know I have to get up in 5 hours and earn a living for this family – or have you forgotten?”

Mom holds her tongue as best she can. However, on a scale of ten, her “pissed off level is a TEN – but quiet – so as not to wake up little Suzie, “NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME YOU IDIOT! BUT YOUR DAUGHTER JUST PEED ALL OVER MY LEGS. NOW CARRY THIS KID BACK TO HER BED WHILE I CHANGE THE SHEETS!” And so it goes – Little Suzie goes back to sleep in her own bed, Dad goes downstairs and sleeps on the couch and mom is stuck changing the sheets and taking a shower – all the while, her family is now resting in their beds. It’s now 3 am and in a few hours, she’ll have to get up and start all over again. She’ll get up, wake the kids up and go down and make breakfast. She’ll kiss her husband on the cheek as though nothing ever happened.

Now I ask you isn’t the way some live their lives – similar to government – only  in the sense that sometimes there are men who think that ‘stay at home moms’ don’t know what’s best for them  – or rather do nothing but eat bon bons and watch soap operas? Isn’t that like government telling us that “Father knows Best?” Isn’t that like big government knows better how we should run our lives than we do? The ideal situation in a marriage is when both give 100% to each other and are willing to make whatever sacrifices are  necessary in order to have a happy home. That is precisely the way it should be in government – working together – instead of eating it’s young. Well it will be a cold day in hell when we see that. But for myself, I live my life in such a way – that no matter what, I’ll never let any government stab me to death. That takes strength, faith and consistency in order to change the ’status and most frightening quo’ I’ve seen in many years. oh and ps: I know some wonderful single parent dads as well as dads that do appreciate their wives – but there are plenty of the others as well.

Attila Honey

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